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A "Popular" Misconception

Everyone wants to be popular, right? I always thought that when I was younger. But what does "popular" mean? Is it really for everyone?

Watch pretty much any movie or television program that depicts "happy" people, and you'll notice one thing: people who have a lot of friends are happier than people who don't.

Think about the connotation of the word "popular." When have you ever heard the word used to paint someone in an unflattering light...unless it was by someone who wasn't popular? Popularity is something people dream about achieving and pine over losing.

What do we call someone who doesn't have many friends? "Loner" comes to mind. Ever hear anyone say, "He's a great guy. A real loner!"? I didn't think so. That's unfortunate.

When I was a kid, I thought having tons of friends was important. I watched other girls who moved in huge circles of friends and always thought there must be something wrong with me. Oh, sure. I had friends. I usually had one "best friend" and lots of casual acquaintances, but the other girls seemed to be genuinely close to a lot of people. That just wasn't me.

That still isn't me. In fact, I have realized that friendship is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Sure. Some of us are meant to be social butterflies and have too many friends to count. That's find for you flit about types. As for me, having one or two super close friends has always been a nice fit.

My husband is my "bestest" friend. I really would rather spend time with him than anyone else. He lets me be my authentic self, the me that would shock your socks off. To John, I'm ZuZu. Apparently, I'm hilarious. I'm also selfish. And melodramatic. And paranoid. John knows all of this and still wants to hang out with me as much as his schedule allows. I think that's pretty cool.

Before you decide it isn't healthy to only be friends with one's spouse, you should know that I have a best girlfriend, too. Kathy has been there for me for the past 12 1/2 years. We've shared the toughest times of our lives, and we've cheered each other on to our greatest triumphs. Although we live on opposite coasts now, we still pass our joy and pain over the phone line and through cyberspace. We have so much in common, from our willful daughters to our douchey ex-husbands to the princes we now share our lives with, that the miles between us feel like inches.

Naturally, I know a lot of people. I even see a few socially sometimes, but here's the thing: I don't generally seek people out. I've even been known to make excuses to avoid going out with people.

I'm going to let you in on something. This is a sort of secret of mine, so you can't go spreading it around. Here's how you know if I really like you enough to want to hang out with you. Do I seek you out? Have I ever stopped by your house just to see you? Do I walk over to you at church to chat? Do I comment you on Facebook? Have you been to my house more than once? If you can answer "yes" to any of these questions, chances are good that I genuinely like you and am not just being polite.

Does any of this mean that I'm not a "loner"? No. It does not. I am most definitely a loner. But that doesn't make me Ted Kaczynski.

Now, where did I put that fuse?

Had a great time with Walt. Headed home now.

Picking up Walt in 5 min!

I'm up early. I'm too excited to sleep. GLEE taping this afternoon! WHEEEEEEEEE!

I'm going to the taping for the Glee Season Finale in Beverly Hills tomorrow. Holy Shneikies!!

I'm still waiting to find out if I got tix to the Glee season finale taping tomorrow.

Getting a call from your daughter's middle school letting you know they've locked down to protect the kids: comforting or terrifying?

What does it say about me that I still really miss the cute little pair of argyle ballet flats that I finally wore out a year ago?

What a great afternoon. We went to Con Pane for Pane Cioccolata and then to the tidepools. I love Point Loma!

All of these dreams with the break ins and the shoot outs and the running and the peeing my pants are getting to be exhausting. Sheesh!

TGIF? Not really. Now that John's in class all day on Saturdays, Friday has lost its awesomesauce. :-(

Ever meet someone after knowing them exclusively online for a long time (think message boards) only to find that they are batshit crazy? Discuss.

FYI, Ladies: There is no such thing as a "quick trip" to Home Depot if your man goes alone. They have strippers & hot wings in the back. Look it up!

"Real" Housewives? Really? I don't think so. "Two Faced Backstabbing Bitches Who Constantly Talk Over One Another"? Definitely!

"Real" Housewives? Really? I don't think so. "Two Faced Backstabbing Bitches Who Constantly Talk Over One Another"? Deinitely!

Egg whites with spinach, mushrooms, and leftover salmon! Can I get an "Amen!"?

John's finally on his way home. Now, we can go get this boat in the water!

Is having lunch at The Prado with Winky!

Pineapple upside down cheesecake is a revelation!